I used to practice yoga {very much as an amateur} over a decade ago and it has always held a special place in my heart. Since then I’ve dipped in and out of the odd session never really finding a way for it to fit in with my now very different life. With that in mind I am so excited to welcome Lynley from Topknot Yoga to the blog today! Lynley speaks so beautifully and honesty about motherhood and the importance of mums supporting mums in a way I know so many of you will relate to. Lynley’s pre and post-natal Yoga routines fit wonderfully into your busy day and focus on listening to your body at all times. Find out more about Topknot Yoga here.
I’m Lynley. Kiwi Mum of 2 beautiful girls and now a yoga teacher. Before I embarked on the wild world of parenting, I used to be a business manager for a multi-million pound dental studio in Harley Street, London. I was used to controlling most situations, I knew how to get what I wanted, when I needed/wanted it.
April 2016, our first baby was born. She was perfect and I was excited to start this journey because of course I knew exactly how I wanted it to go. She was a lovely little sleepy thing, for the first 4 weeks at least. Then week 5, she definitely didn’t do what ‘normal’ babies were supposed to do, I now realise there is no such thing as ‘normal’.
I remember sitting on a swiss ball, bouncing for the umpteenth hour, I don’t even know what early hour of the morning it was, I remember asking myself ‘why did I ever want to be a mum?’ because in that moment, I hated it. As soon as I was done with that thought, the wave of guilt for not being grateful and enjoying motherhood washed over me. I felt like such a bad mum! This is a vivid memory of my early days of motherhood I don’t think I will ever forget because I couldn’t understand how something you want so badly isn’t quite turning out how you expected it too and why you can’t do ‘everything right’. This was my first experience of not being able to control the situation. There were significantly more amazing moments during this time, but this shame of feeling this stayed with me for a long time.
Within Caroline’s first 12 months, whilst I loved her with every inch of my being, I came to realise how hard parenting can be. How judgmental the mummy community could be and how small comments can knock the confidence of another mum. I finally found peace with yoga and other exercise – looking after me helped me to look after my family. I was very lucky to find an amazing group of friends within a mums fitness group I was attending. There is so much value in mums supporting mums.
2017 saw a year of recurrent miscarriages for our desperately wanted second baby. Another situation that was completely out of my control. Throughout this turmoil, I decided to become a yoga teacher, I needed a new focus that wasn’t just being a mum and trying to fall pregnant again. But also, I wanted to support other women in their journey of motherhood. I wanted to create a safe place for women to come, met other women, to say ‘hey you know what, I’m finding this tough’ and to get support from other mums. Because let’s be honest, we all have good days and bad days, its just some talk about it and others don’t. But one thing that is evident is that we all need a safe community to grow and learn in.
I completed my pre and post natal Yoga training in 2018 and immediately starting teaching mums and bubs yoga. It is my calling. I absolutely love being someone’s safe place. To help them realise how amazing they are, to realise that they don’t need to buy into competition, their baby is perfect, all babies develop at their own pace and time and most importantly to trust their mummy instincts. We have grown our babies, birthed them and know them better than anyone. But yet very quickly we are told what they should and shouldn’t be doing,
‘don’t spoil your baby’
‘don’t make a rod for your own back’
‘don’t let them manipulate you’
They are babies!!! The do not manipulate! They aren’t spoiled! They need their mama, they need love, they need cuddles, to be close to you and they CAN be fed to sleep if the parents want them to be!
I feel like the world wants to take care of the baby, want to know about the baby, want to cuddle the baby. But what about mum?? My purpose is to help mums refuel and for me that is through yoga, yoga helped me in some dark days. It also helped in my tired days. Self care is one thing we put on the back burner but as they say on the aeroplane – ensure you put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.
Motherhood is the most magically journey filled with ups and downs. But ultimately, mums love their children, they are doing what they believe is best for their children and without truly understanding the situation, who are we to judge. Support and being nurtured will help to create amazing mothers that then raise amazing children. Mums supporting mums is essential to this and this is what I will do for the rest of my life! When people ask what I do – I no longer say I am a Yoga Teacher, I say I support women to believe in themselves and their parenting skills.
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